A few things I wanna say

Publicado el 5 may 2021
Intro by : dserpentes.carrd.co/


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  • 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

  • This makes me feel so much better to know other people are dealing with anxiety.. It's horrible 😢 pls get help everyone.

  • During the pandemic, I made my first call to a suicide hotline because I couldn't stop terrible images of me hurting myself from entering my head. I'd only told two people about these thoughts, one being my sister, and she reacted with so much sadness that we've never spoken about it again. When I made the call to the suicide hotline, I felt like shit, this is it, this is who I am now. The call volume was so high that the line just went down on me. Thankfully I'm in a much better place rn. I hope others got the help they needed.

  • Hey there. I can understand where you're coming from completely. I suffer from GAD/Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Depression and PTSD. It can be the Pits. As for the Warmies, I have a pair of Owls. The first one is white and was named Oliver. I kept the name and added a surname, Woodstock. Later I bought a second brown one. I don't remember her original name, so I named her Elinor Woodstock. They are a real comfort, especially during the winter.

  • I need that weighted plushie. Thank you for this video. 💞

  • During the pandemic, I’ve learned a lot about my own mental health, I already have diagnosed anxiety... but now it seems that I’ve also been dealing with depression for a while, (I’m gonna start my medication tomorrow), and in a couple of weeks I’m gonna get tested for autism and tbh I’m so shocked about all of this because I don’t get how I’ve been living this long without knowing what was really going on with me, but at the same time I’ve been doing research and everything starts to become clearer but also the fact of knowing all of this has been triggering my anxiety so bad. Anyways, I just wanted to vent a little. Thank you so so much for sharing this with us, you have no idea how much it helps listening to someone who understands, even if our situations are different there is some sort of similarity... Sending so much love and hugs your way and to anyone reading this.

  • Thank you for this video Giulia. It's exactly what I'm going through.

  • Why are you just now making me realize, at the age of 26, that I have panic disorder?? As soon as you started telling me about the fits of shaking and nausea, you made me realize that, after looking up panic disorder, that was the issue I had starting at the age of 7...I would wake up in the middle of the night shaking and sometimes nauseous and the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me...to the point where I had 2 sleep studies and an MRI...bruh...my dad holding me is what made it eventually stopped or it just subsided over time...

  • I know the feeling of waking up with anxiety. I haven’t really been waking up like that lately but I experienced it a lot while I was in college.

  • I just wanted to tell you that your life matters SO much. You are not an accident, you are not a random collection of cells, you were handcrafted by a heavenly artist and God made you with love, purpose, and 100% uniqueness. You have been an inspiration to me with your openness, your sense of justice, and your down-to-earth nature. In a world full of gray and situational ethics, your cut and dry approach to right and wrong is so comforting and encouraging for our - and any future - generation! I stopped watching mainstream media years ago and actively avoided online news outlets because I was so exasperated by the sensationalism and the lack of fact focused reporting. You are one of the few sources I feel comfortable watching to learn about any current cases with celebrities or online personalities etc. Regarding your emotional and mental state, I really sympathize with and relate to a lot of what you shared. I was in an abusive relationship for five years and experienced many of the anxiety and panic related struggles you've shared. It is so awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But that ended in 2017 and like you said, I DID get better and now I AM okay. Going through the pandemic brought back some of those anxieties but I'm so thankful every day is a little better than the last. I just wanted to reassure you that you are not alone, that your words and thoughts matter, your existence matters, and everything you shared in this video was a blessing to me and I'm sure a blessing to many others! God bless you girl 💜 and I hope these words can bless anyone who reads them 💕 much love!

  • I’m so sorry. God I wish we could all go back, see what was coming and be prepared. It seems the actual virus and ramifications of isolation combined, have become combustible. If we don’t succumb to the illness then we succumb to the endless rebounding mental issues; mine now include agoraphobia and resurfaced abuse I suppressed all through my life. Even having moments of acute shock, disbelief and deep sorrow at some memories that are only now being recalled in my subconscious mind. The problem so many of us face is not stemming from a misunderstanding about our own feelings and declining mental health. It’s the horrific shit show that has become the medical world post C19. We cannot get in and sit with a live person for almost an entire year - which only breeds further descent down that rabbit hole of deteriorating health. Or they make it impossible for middle class people with terrible insurance to afford real treatment. It’s like sure, pay 4K up front and we can help. It’s so despairing that for someone already in the throws of despair itself, it seems insurmountable and unobtainable 100% of the time. Next thing you know you haven’t showered in weeks and you can’t expend any more energy fighting for the last thread of sanity you have left. I get so upset seeing celebrities expound on the necessity and importance of good mental health or conversely, the horrible effects of living with suicidal ideation and the endless ruminating... that’s all true, but try being so deeply gone with depression and barely making it by financially and then tell me how easy it is to “go to therapy and get better”... not if you don’t have $$$$ !!! I’m sure there’s people who can relate to that.. I’m just not sure what to do. Thanks for sharing. We all love and support you ✨

  • Watching this, going through and reading some of these comments and seeing what others are dealing with on a daily basis really hurts my heart.. I just want everyone to know YOU are important, YOU are beautiful, YOU are amazing ❤ Keep your head up it will get better ❤ Much love to you all ❤ Thank you for sharing this love, you're amazing ❤ XO 😘

  • Thank you for sharing, opening up is always helpful. With that, this pandemic has actually been a paradise for me, in most ways. I'm an Aspie and severe introvert. Being told I have to work from home, where every day is "take your dog to work day", I don't have people stopping by my cube for impromptu meetings, and the phone has not been interrupting my work every 10 minutes, has been good for me. I've been able to focus so much more on my studies, my job, my writing, and fine-tuning my photography. I've been able to discover a whole lot of wonderful things about my wife and to focus on her more than I probably ever have. For me, I am actually dreading when I'm told I have to return to an office, and I'm working to convince my management, to let me continue working from home. It is good for me, and actually saves them a ton of cash on floor space costs. There is a silver lining to all of this, and we all have to find our own based on what we deal with in our own minds. Keep taking care of yourself, cuddle the fur baby, hug the plushies, and snuggle your hubby often. The more positive activities you perform in your home, the better you'll feel. And write, write a lot. Sometimes, the simple act of putting your thoughts, fears, anxieties, and successes down on paper, can be very therapeutic. (I finished one book during this past year and started another, simply because I had nothing else to do and couldn't go anywhere) Be good to yourself, you matter.

  • I've got excited about the MoonPals but I just found out they only ship within in the US 😭 I'm devastated

  • They also have weighted vests for working out that my boss wears for his anxiety

  • I'm so proud of you for talking about this, I just wanna give you a hug ❤❤

  • I can relate to a lot of what you said. I have anxiety/panic disorder. I’ve had it for 10+ years. I also have medical anxiety so I get even more anxious when I think somethings wrong with me physically and I might have to go to the hospital. My mom had it too and she became a shut in. She stopped driving when I was like 10 years old and she pretty much never left the house. She obviously was never treated for her anxiety or panic attacks she just shut down and self medicated with alcohol and cigarettes. She was still an incredible mom and functioned well despite her issues. But the vices eventually killed her. People don’t realize the suffering that people with anxiety and panic attacks endure. It is hell on earth at times. Mine was at its worst when I had my second baby girl and suddenly developed hypothyroidism/hashimotos. I kept having severe panic attacks that were lasting 45 minutes or longer and caused me to have an irregular heartbeat. It was like my heart was skipping every 4th beat. It was terrifying. I knew I needed to go to the hospital at that point since it was affecting my heart. So I went and they gave me Ativan and it helped temporarily but a day or two later I’d be back. After the 3rd or 4th time they finally tested my thyroid hormones and discovered the hypothyroidism. They told me that the all day everyday anxiety and daily panic attacks should subside in a few months once my thyroid meds kicked in and I was stabilized. They were right but it was an unbearable 3 months. Idk how I survived let alone cared for my newborn baby. Yoga, exercising and eating healthy saved my life. They helped a lot. I actually saw 2 psychiatrists during that time and they said I could get on antidepressants or continue the yoga because that has actually been shown to relieve symptoms just as well as the medication for some people. I was thrilled to hear that because I didn’t want to take the meds. They scare the shit out of me. But luckily the yoga really did help and now years later I still try to eat healthy and I exercise most days because when I don’t I notice a decline in my mental health. It keeps me sane. Idk how but it does. And I use the yoga when it gets bad. Also I have changed my inner dialogue when I have panic attacks and that has helped a lot as well. I’ll tell myself “you’re fine. you’re going to be fine. You’re not gonna die, you’re not gonna have a heart attack. You never do.” Because my brain is always trying to convince me in those moments that I’m gonna have a heart attack and die basically. This probably sounds so strange to people that don’t experience this. 😅

    • @Deok Doki Thank you 😊

    • People think that those with anxiety or depression are weak but your example is so amazing 👏 it sounds humanly impossible to endure all that but you did it. Hope you'll stay safe and and healthy!

  • Quit social media....your just making it worse. Like. Stop.it

  • Warmest hugs from Poland 🤗

  • Modern living is basically living like Gods once we stop thinking we need more to be happy. I feel many of us have enough to have good lives. The pandemic actually helped me to be closer with my family and those that may not always be in my life, and I am doing better than I was before it, strangely. When I deal with stress, anxiety, or bad feelings, I like to look at my wellbeing, and sometimes take baths with space music and incense just to get into the chill zone. I think we are all forgetting just how to chill out, and it's underrated.

  • No one will read this comment, Im late. But I feel same. Im really on the edge of suicide right now. I told my parents but they didn't believe me. My therapy will start in 2 MONTHS. I feel worse every day. I dont think I can do this. Ive already put on the alarm clock and a reminder. Sadly we dont have guns or helium, cutting is my only option...

    • It's great news that you've got a therapy spot in 2 months! It may feel like forever but trust me you'll feel so relieved and empowered finally going there ☺️ if no one believes in you I believe you've got the strength!

  • I've started noticing issues with my mood that I think might be a form of bipolar disorder (my dad has BD). It's not sustained highs and lows but like, shorter intervals. Sometimes I'm down and unproductive and then I get overwhelmed by how much I haven't done. Then I get periods of like, erratic energy. But I can't use it productively, which gets me frustrated and angry. And tbh my mind is just fatigued from dealing with it. Thank you for sharing how you feel. We need to be able to say 'hey, I am not okay right now, just help me process my emotions'

  • Haha- glad I trusted myself- took me a week to even watch this video, but I've watched now I'm ready. Thank you for your honesty.

  • My son is special needs. He has CP, autism, seizures among other things. He is also like me-he has Bipolar disorder and anxiety. He can’t do a lot of things to care for himself so I have to do it for him. I’m tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. The only person I have to support me in this is my amazing mom.

  • I have an anxiety disorder and I really resonated with what you said about getting anxious about doing the simplest of things. I just recently have gone back to work while avoiding going for like 3 months straight, just because I talk myself out of going for a million reasons. I work at a plant nursery so it’s like the most grounding and wholesome thing for me, my boss is like the nicest guy ever, like I don’t really have a reason not to go, my brain is just always convincing me to stay home where I feel most comfortable. That being said, I have got to get one of those weighted bunnies you have!

  • I feel like my ruminating thoughts completely overpower me almost daily now. I’m talking like running through “oh that professor I had 3 years ago probably hates me and talks about me to other professors because I was a bad student” which like *WHAT*-I don’t even remember their first name and I doubt they remember my first or my last name. It’s really really difficult to snap out of it. And if I do, they tend to come right back just with a different scenario like “oh god I can’t believe I said that to them…” ugh. It’s exhausting. If anyone has any tips for this mental avalanche, please lmk 🤙🏽

  • I've been struggling to get out of bed. I wake up shower go back to bed and repeat. I stopped going outside even ignoring my patio. I live all day and night with my blinds drawn shut, door locked and not answering the door. I suffer from PTSD and anxiety and I just don't eat. I became worse with my suicidal tendencies. My family doesn't listen to me, this is the only place I can talk. Sorry to upset anyone here.

  • The pandemic has make me terrified of the US as someone part of AAPI who is also pregnant, I’m terrified of my move to TX for my husbands work coming soon. I’ve struggled with my body and depression my whole life and the pregnancy has made me a shell of who I was. Also this move will be the first time I’m separated from my immediate family I’m scared of being a mother and not having my own mom with me to help and teach me. Just a whole lot of stuff but I’m hopeful and hope a lot more people are doing better. I know the world is a disaster at this point but I really do hope things get better

  • Thank you so much for opening up about this. It definitely helps me to feel that I’m not alone. I hope things start to look up for you. 🖤

  • I appreciate these videos more than you will know...just knowing other people struggle makes me feel less alien...

  • I started therapy this year. I had a really ugly mental episode 2 months ago, its been hard but im trying my best to stay in a healthy mental state.

  • I've been to the hospital for dehydration a couple times. My body went into ketosis because I hadn't eaten for days either (all from vomiting) and there was lot of other serious problems but thanks to the hospital I pulled through. Phobia or not, you go to the hospital before it gets too serious. Severe dehydration and not able to eat eating caused me to lose more than 20 pounds in just over a week.

  • Off topic, but your hair looks *gorgeous.*

  • Lately I’ll like, be fine until I get a super horrendous panic attack and then I’m quite literally wailing, screaming, sobbing, shaking, hyperventilating, just in complete shock and panic and I feel like the world is ending. As if everyone I love just died, but it’s totally out of the blue. It happened at work once last year and they had to get security and drive me down to medical because it lasted for over 20 minutes of me just scream crying to the point I almost passed out. It’s like I’m constantly in survival action mode to get through my days until everything builds up and my body can’t take it anymore, and then I completely fall apart

  • Wow it's like we're the same person. Sending good vibes, love, it's so hard to deal with this stuff.

  • My mental took major dip in the summer of 2019 then pandemic happen it just got worse. I'm super stressed out over everything and it's cause my moods to fluctuate a lot more. On top of that i discovered i get sleepy when I'm stressed but my parents out right ignore that telling me i have been making excuses. Also they just haven't been taking me seriously, i told them i wanted to get tested for ADHD but i was quickly shut down by my mother. I feel super stuck and hallow, i have hard wanting to continue on. Most of my friends try to be understanding but tend to invalidate a lot my feels and i just have no one to go to that reassures or helps in the way i need. it's been a massive struggling.

  • Where did you get this wig I need it

  • Have definitely struggled with feeling proud over my 456 days without self harm. I’ve managed to go years before and always saw that as an achievement but now I’ve just not been able to, questioning why I even bother/dumb bs like that (that I’d never apply to anyone but myself), and I hate it. Had to also up the dose of my antidepressants cause I got anxiety if I woke up before sunset basically. I’ve dealt with anxiety before but not like that, not being this constant uneasy feeling that I didn’t know how to get rid of and had almost every day for months. Don’t know if me questioning who I am/gender/stuff like that have had an impact as well. (Tried to figure it out for at least a year now, kinda leaning towards genderflux being the right one but keep questioning and doubting myself, cause “maybe I’m just making it up/how do other people that know for sure feel/how can they tell/what are the signs/can someone write a cheat book for this”.) I’ve been lucky cause here in Sweden (at least in my smaller town) you haven’t really seen the effects of the pandemic except for signs and newspapers. Barely anyone wears a mask or anything. We’ve not had any lockdowns at all, but since I’m an extreme introvert I’ve just enjoyed being alone, and actually having the energy to clean and go grocery shopping. It’s been a rollercoaster.

  • I am going through similar stuff. It feels like everyone is. Hope you,and everyone else, are doing as well as possible

  • I’m kind of late to this but I’ve really been struggling over an injury I got back in September. It seems like it’s never going to get fixed, my dominant arm is almost useless right now and I’m in so much pain that I can’t sleep and I’m so scared because I’m an artist and I really need it fixed. Going to a new doctor next week and hoping they can do surgery...I’m so scared about it but I’m hoping I get more answers soon. I hope everyone is doing alright and we will all get through this 💙

  • I know I've been struggling a lot keeping up with online classes and keeping my room clean, especially with the pandemic keeping me from going to see my friends. One of my friends is coming to pick me up today to go get craft supplies, one of our other friends, who is also struggling, and get out of the house for awhile. We've been waiting to hang out since the pandemic started because two of the three of us are finally, blessedly, vaccinated and we've missed each other so much we decided to say fuck it and go get crochet supplies. It's the silliest hang out idea the three of us have ever had, but we all share one brain cell so here we are. :') I know I certainly could be struggling more and I'm glad I'm not feeling the way I felt in late January of this year, because if I were I would probably not be writing this comment. I made myself take a long weekend off school to paint and listen to music and it helped a lot for me as a bit of relief. I hope that we can all find a good balance and find our ways back to feeling better.

  • Pandemic made me struggle with anxiety and depression more but it also made me realize I should go to psychologist again and one I am going rn is very kind which is nice.

  • Sending so so much love to you 💕 This pandemic has made me realize how important self care is. Even if it's just small things, like doing a face mask or getting myself a new plant (I've got like 25 now 😂) & my depression has gotten worse. I think that's due to the boring, same routine every day. Get up, go to work, go home, repeat. Nothing different. Not seeing my friends and family, not going to different places, but being terrified to even go anywhere else besides work and home. I have digestive issues already, & the panic attacks have gotten me puking more often. Thankfully, I was able to be fully vaccinated. & I'm hoping that will make me feel better about going out more now, especially because I know it will make me feel better. Wow this felt good to get off my chest. I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore. A lot of my friends kept going out & going to bars, & I absolutely wasn't going. So now my relationships are strained, & I feel forgotten.

  • I love you girly 🥰 you got a great head on your shoulders. We all are here to listen and to help❤️

  • I've been struggling with self harm these couple of weeks, my parents do know but I can't stop. They have taken all my sharp tools (for creative purposes) and I can't make what I love to make but if I take them back I fear I won't be able to stop myself from harming myself.

  • thank you for sharing. big relate. i'm grateful my symptoms aren't too severe, but as you said, the irrationality of fear is not something we can control, so i do get my overthinking spirals of doubting reality and how connected i am to it, as someone who already had issues i dont even find comfort in a ''before'' the pandemic, my perception feels universally untrustworthy, and that along with the similar worry i'll be irreversibly damaged after this... i'm not very social to begin with so imposed isolation has me worried i'll lose all my social skills, what used to be very distinct social anxiety has grown to its endlessly adaptable generalised anxiety, i worry everytime someone leaves the house, inside my house i get intrusive thoughts from the tangible accident of falling down the stairs down to the random serial killer scenario :/ i didnt used to get the shakes often, nowadays though its frequent and if i'm crying on top my teeth chatter to a painful degree; all these loopholes in the body's fear response system have me resenting evolution as a concept, she one flaky bish

  • 🖤🖤🖤 thank you so much for talking about this - I suffer the same and so many people who don’t suffer from it still*don’t believe it or just decide it -can’t be that bad.. it’s hard. Loads of love.

  • I had a baby... its changed my life.

  • I can relate. It's really nice to hear you speak openly about this. I didn't used to have that but after I was abused I had all you mentioned, the shaking, throwing up, panic attacks, migraines etc. I don't anymore and this is what I found. We feel eachothers energy (I know that's widely talked about) so during the pandemic people are putting out stress and despair energy because of them not having financial security or their loved ones passing away. It is a very sad time. We feel that energy since humans feel eachothers energy. I work on protecting my energy now, and I'm trying to go back to how I used to be before abuse, I would put out positive energy and it helps the world. Anyone who does that is adding to the positive energy in the world. and don't worry if you can't do that right now, there is no rush, it's a journey. The other thing I learned is that I can't conform. I didn't used to conform but after abuse I was so broken I started to conform. Conforming to society hurts us, because sometimes society can be hard not soft. It hurts us, the emotional and thus physical pain will go away once we go back to being ourselves in a way of disregarding a societal standard of stifling our true selves. Everyone has great things to offer humanity just by being themselves. It's not always easy to be yourself in this world, it will get rid of our physical pain if we do it though. and again no rush... Waking up and feeling like your not doing everything on your list I have experienced, the anxiety from that went away when I focus on my purpose in life. As long as your trying your purpose or working towards it you are doing enough. If were getting lots done but not doing out purpose we might wake with dread or panic. This world seems to be a lot about competition and once I got rid of that mindset I can relax a lot more. Peace & Love

  • @readytoglare my panic attacks are the same. I have been microdxing for about 5 months now and they are nearly gone altogether. I feel like it changed my life. DM me on IG if you want to talk. @sarahjtherealtor

  • This 🙌❤️

  • I haven’t seen my family in over two years.. my parents even longer. I live in the US and they are in Brasil. I get it.

  • Making a list the night before helps sooo much! Seriously, try it!

  • Omgggg I woke up that exact same way for almost a year and I would throw up every single morning. Because you get “sour stomach “in the morning It just made me vomit and I lost so much weight I’ve never heard about anybody else experiencing this so thank youuuuu

  • I have to get all my teeth ripped out at 19. First two come out in 12 days. I have panic attacks every night over it and haven’t been eating right for months.

  • Thanks for sharing, I had such a panic attack while outdoors at the beginning of this year, I had to lay down on the sidewalk. I think I might be agoraphobic now.

  • I can resonate with a lot of people here. I know there's something wrong with me, I can't afford a doctor's visit, but everybody in my life and according to a full damn year of research on my own time, I might have PTSD and I'm willing to accept it if it means getting better. Whatever it is, it's affecting my eating, what if I have an eating disorder? That terrifies me. But I've been doing so much better lately, I've been eating well and I've been getting triggers and shivers less often, I'm more in touch with my emotions. Only because we've been in this pandemic for so long I have been forcing myself to do better. It doesn't mean I feel normal, just like I'm not going to have an episode. This means so much.

  • it was hard to see you so broken up like this but i completely understand how painful things can be. i've been having a hard time mentally and i ahev started seeing a therapist and am realizing that many people i know i have to cut off including family. it's really bad for so many people. i hope you're ok. love you

  • I am so overworked at my job. I work in healthcare and I know just by saying that I don't need to elaborate. My whole department is. And there is a shortage of people in my field so we can never be properly staffed. I am so stressed and burned out and at the same time I feel pressured to feel grateful that I even have a job because so many people were and are unemployed because of this covid bullshit. And it's not fair that we have to feel that way. Covid has only made people lose their jobs and made those who still had their jobs work even harder. I am so exhausted all the time. And I unhealthily shop and spend money to cope with my depression, anxiety, and stress, so I'm always spending money hoping it will help me feel better, and it's not working, so now I'm frequently broke. I'm living paycheck to paycheck and relying on my fiance when I run out of money, which I hate. I'm miserable and I wish I was dead.

  • Thank you for sharing this - today was the second day I woke up with weird and terrible anxiety thoughts first thing. It was really common earlier in the year - it went away for a little while but it's come back and I'm exhausted. It isn't good, and I would never wish it on anyone, but I find relief knowing I am not alone.

  • Thank you for this. You described this type of experience perfectly and honestly makes me feel less alone in the world 💗

  • Dear comment-scrolling person, hi, I hope you have a good day, and if it's been going badly, I hope it will get much better soon. XxX

    • @Lindsey Hendrix Thanks! Keep smiling!

    • This made me smile! I was like oh snap she’s talking to ME! 😂 thanks mate. I hope you find a $20 (or €20) on the ground! You rock. 🤙🏽

  • Hearing about your (and other commenters) stories about nausea and anxiety is something I wish I could've heard years ago. I thought I was crazy for involuntarily shaking and being sick everyday; In hindsight I should've seen a doctor. Thank you to everyone for helping me and others feel less alone

  • All of you are bad bitch3s, there's nothing in this world that yall can't get through. Not no one, nothing. Bad bitch3s cry, we are entitled to our feelings and feeling them 😌✌ BUT WE OVERCOMMEE!!! YALL WILL OVERCOMMEE!! STAY POSITIVE AND REMEMBER YOU'RE STONG ALL OF YOU 🥺🖤

  • Thank you for sharing this with us... much love to all xxx

  • I also have panic disorder among other diagnoses. My panic attacks are severe, I will have seizures and dissociate. My folks said that they really look like epileptic seizures (One time my fists were clenched and my arms were in a weird position, my head was thrown back and I clenched my teeth so hard that my jaws were tender afterwards, I was shaking like crazy) they were at first worried that I really have epilepsy or something but doctors said (I went to a hospital) that they really are just very severe panic attacks with dissociation. fortunately I haven't had one in a while. Many people who don't have a panic disorder cannot understand how scary the attacks are. I always feel like I'm going completely mad, losing myself, I feel like everything is crashing down. It's horrible. (English isn't my mother language)

  • This pandemic made me realize that I'm not okay, I'm not coping, and I've been fooling myself for ages. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was 10 but this year, almost 14 years later, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. I've also started dissociating which I don't think I've ever done before and my panic attacks have become much more frequent then they ever have before. It also doesn't help that my housemate is emotionally manipulative and a gaslighter and I can't move out yet because housing costs are through the roof. I so appreciate the openness about this, it reminds me that I'm not crazy or over-reacting and that I'm not alone.

  • i just recently started my first job in the middle of this pandemic and my anxiety is still through the roof every time i know i have to work. cause it means having to leave my room, my safe space and see people

  • Since this pandemic I finally accepted that I do have past traumas, I have been to the doctor and got diagnosed with anxiety and depression. And I started therapy and I had helped me so much. But at one point I wasn’t doing anything. I have been wanting rats for year and I finally decided to get rats, and they have helped me to much, the motivation they given me it’s insane. I am still very anxious tho, and panic attacks and breakdowns were getting more extreme. Good things have happened but living in a constant fear is awful.

  • Thank you I’m so happy to have found you you’re incredible!!!

  • I love this idea thank you. Just all the fucking negativity and all the horrible news stories and when the fuck will it calm down? Like a fucking 6th grader shooting up her school fuck.. it’s scary out there and I’m always thinking okay I’m shocked and scared and it can’t get any worse but then maybe the next day or even maybe the next few hours it’s just something else. I’ve even stopped listening or watching the news but when I tell people that they are just quick to fill me in on the horrors going on. Like fuck, I work at a clinic and I’m rooming patients and I told this man who was in the middle of telling me about some mass shooting how I’m just getting depressed and I stopped watching the news and he still continues to tell me everything else going on..I just can’t. There are still good people out there I just have to keep telling myself that or what else is there even to live for? Sorry I’m sure punctuation didn’t occur there a good while but I just had to get it out. Stay strong everyone.

  • Thank you for always talking to us like a friend and for sharing your mental health journey with us 💖 it's been incredibly hard & I have a disorder (people always judge me when I say which one) but it's definitely gotten worse. I've never had a panic attack like the ones I've gotten after covid happened. When you said you felt like you weren't in control it really hit me. I'm not happy this stuff happens but I'm really glad I'm not alone. Love your channel and what you do 🖤💚

  • Thank you for sharing this. My panic attacks have also been terrible recently. My therapist isn't covered by insurance anymore so I don't go as frequently. Luckily I've found a new (and good) psych NP recently. You are definitely not alone. I wonder about going to the hospital sometimes too, especially when I can't breathe or am just "thinking" in spirals. I hope things get easier for you and everyone else who is suffering through it. It's brave to come on here and be so vulnerable. Thanks for using your platform for solidarity. 💙

  • I have one of the weighted toys! My mom got it for me before my surgery ! I absolutely love him. I named him Kelvin:)

  • My mom is having 3 surgeries on the same day in like 12 days and im stressed

  • over the last year my old church has taken away my whole life. I have been struggling with gender crisis and being trans. Love issues is shit. I developed tourettes and depression and severe anxiety. self harm and suicidal thoughts suck. in addition im gay in school living in a small town iowa (I Owe the World an Apology). Has anyone else been in this same situation? I feel so alone when I’m not with safe people. I almost died yesterday and I wished that I did. Life can lick my invisible cooch.

  • After my sister gives birth to my first biological nephew, I get to see him, and then I go to the eating disorder recovery program. I’ve dodged it since high school, being an overweight anorexic was an excuse to not address the thing eating away at me. Now I’m 21, and I’ll get released when I’m 22. I’m afraid but ready for change, the pandemic worsened everything. Shout out to anyone else struggling with eating disorders before and during this pandemic.

  • Thank you for sharing, you are not alone 💯. When the pandemic lockdown happened in Victoria Australia, my OCD went into hyperdrive to the point my hand were bleeding. Panic attacks increased in frequency and the physical affects were extreme, worse than when I used to get them. I to had the question of am I going to be like this forever however things are starting to go back to a new normal, I’ve noticed a change in the way I see the world, life and myself. I cherish the good days, even if it’s just 1 small thing that happened that day. Sending you all hugs 🤗

  • I just try go for walks everyday to prevent this. I know the government say stay inside but mental health matters too. And I will do social distance visits with friends I’m not fearing the virus at this rate if I die I die. I’m not afraid of death.

  • Love you guilia! Hang in there! My depression and anxiety have also taken a turn downhill this past year , but I’ve been trying to stay positive, plus I go to therapy which helps. Just like you said , it will get better ♥️♥️

  • Thank you for posting this. I feel like I dont have any problems but i just get overwhelmed and it keeps getting worse. It made me feel better to see you talk to me like we're good buds.

  • I'm happy for your courage in making this video. I'm happy to know that's it's ok to stumble in these trying times. that toy looks awesome and now i want one

  • I always appreciate these kinds of videos. At first, the pandemic seemed like a good thing for me; and, now, it’s starting to come crahsing down. I feel so lonely and dejected that I just want to crawl into my bed and spend all of my time in bed to feel the warmth and finally feel “ok.” On the bright side, I finally got my first COVID vaccine yesterday (as of the time this comment is being written). I’m starting to get to the point where I want this pandemic to be over. But, until then, I will continue to do my part and due diligence

  • My mom was recently killed head on by a driver under the influence of narcotics and it’s been a struggle. I already suffer from bipolar disorder which causes a deep depression periodically, this on top of the pandemic has been so so hard.

    • get in the EVA right now Thank you so much 💕

    • Im so so sorry for your loss 💔 Fr this pandemic is being an hell, for a lot of people... sending love for you and for your family

  • i also have panic disorder and it's gotten REALLY bad over the last couple months. for about a solid week and a half last month, i was in this constant state of panic because i was suddenly convinced that there was something wrong with my heart. i went to urgent care, the er, a cardiologist, literally anyone that would take my insurance.. and all of them told me it was just anxiety, but i couldn't believe them. i really thought i was dying. i refused to leave my fiance's side, insisted on travelling half way across the country to visit a holy place, wrote a six page letter to my best friend telling him i was going to die, called my parents every night crying, set alarms every couple hours every time i would fall asleep just to make sure i wouldn't die in my sleep, could barely eat or drink without vomiting, couldn't be in a completely dark room without panicking, etc. it was probably one of the most terrifying things that has happened to me since the pandemic started, and i still have no idea what triggered it. i'm getting better now, but every now and then i get the same feeling. talking about death or anything like that triggers it, even though it was something i was completely comfortable with before. i don't know why it's happening, and that's the most frustrating part. i just want answers. i want to know why this is happening to me and why it's happening so suddenly. i don't *want* to feel like this, but i think i could accept it if i could just understand why.

  • Obviously mental illness is horrible and having these types of mental illnesses is horrible. But. Knowing there are other people out there fucking functioning and holding down jobs and having homeloans and raising kids; helps me when I start to spiral down and catastrophise and become suicidal.

  • Always sending love ♡ Please take care as best as you can I commend you for being able to speak on your struggles with us all. I wish I had that vigor- would probably help with getting better.

  • holy shit i didn't know you actually felt like me; this year has been difficult because i've always struggled with anxiety my entire life but something happened at a swim meet where i had a panic attack that was so bad that i had to get out of the pool in the middle of my race in front of everyone and that was the point that made me realize how bad this really was, which really freaked me out. Now i have the responsibility of trying to fix myself before i become an adult and my anxiety worsens, but i feel like it'll never get better. After what happened i had to immediately go into meds and counseling and actually acknowledge that my anxiety was a serious problem. I'm just thankful that it happened because without swimming i probably wouldnt have done anything about my anxiety

  • I've said it before and I will say it again. EW. PEOPLE.

  • Where did you get the weighted stuffy??? I can’t find it anywhere. I wish I could get one for every one of my clients 💗

  • Thank you so much. It really does help to know that I'm not alone in this.

  • After the first lockdown here in Bulgaria everything has been opened, no measures, I live in a very funny country full of very irresponsible people.

  • I’ve had mental illness my whole life (Panic disorder, GAD, MDD) but it’s gotten so much worse in the last year. I’ve always been agoraphobic but now it’s crippling. Waking up with that heart racing feeling and feeling out of breath happens to me so often. I don’t even need to be thinking about ANYTHING and my heart is just racing like I’m in flight or fight mode at all times. Either my depression dominates or my anxiety does, they take turns and express symptoms differently. Going back and forth between the two is exhausting. I recently got a guided self care journal which has helped identify problematic thinking and has made me more mindful and in tune to myself. Writing has always helped me but in the past year I haven’t even known what to say, so a guided journal has helped. My heart goes out to you and everyone else struggling with this every day

  • Thank you for sharing this video. My 20 year old daughter has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. When she has an anxiety attack, I do feel lost and I don’t know if I’m doing enough or even the right thing. I normally sit her, hug her just cuddle her until she calms down and normally falls asleep. You sharing your video and reading the comments has kind of reassured me that I should carry on doing what I’m doing and continue paying for the therapy she receives. I wish I could give you and all of your viewers who have this illness a big long hug and tell you all that you are loved.

  • Just a little updated info on the virus. It causes neurological problems. Myoclonic twitches and panic attacks are to name a few. I had a really bad situation of active delirium. I Pretty much woke up at 4 in the morning telling everyone to get up and let’s go for a run. Once my poor husband appeased me and went on a morning run I then began to think my husband was out to get me. Then I started hallucinating. All the bushes were a mix between priests and demons. Soooo..... once the virus got out of me. I got better. It does get better y’all. But you do need to get out and breathe some fresh air. Eat healthy. Drink some H2O. Now, why am I talking about this.... Bc I have had panic attacks since I was 8 y.o. What I recently went through with the virus.... that’s not my normal panic attack baseline. So, be careful and trust your instincts. If your not acting right (your normal baseline) seek out some help. I went through hell with COVID. And I’m sure everyone else has been affected in some way. Stay safe y’all ! Check on your family and friends. It goes a long way. Love ❤️

  • Thanks for talking about this. The more we can de-stigmatize mental health struggles, the better.

  • When we face something traumatic we become different people, but it's best to not think of what once was and stay in the present, plan for the future and be as close as we can to our family and friends.

  • Omg!!! My 5 month old daughter has the turtle warmie 😍🥰 I steel it all the time!

  • The last few months I've suffered from intense shame (y'know those weird ass random flashbacks you get of embarrassing things you've done? That but the embarrassment is increased tenfold and it could be about literally anything and it doesn't make me sleep at night) and paranoia for no reason, regarding my friends, family, even strangers. Covid has taken a lot from my life, both money and education went down the drain for a whole year and I feel like I'm trapped in my head. It's horrible and I just want it to stop. Also, I've never self harmed so I don't know if this falls under the term, but everytime I feel bad I slap myself really hard in the face. I've tried telling myself that I do it to 'bring myself back to reality', but sometimes it's just a reflex, like I'm punishing myself for something bad I did. It's confusing and sometimes I can't stop myself. Sorry for the rant. Your video made me realize that a lot of people are going thought a really bad time rn. Thank you for making me realize that.

  • Sending you warmth and love ❤️